On Location at the AT&T: Round 1

On location at the AT& T Pebble Beach Pro-Am Tournament this week. It's my special assignment, as I'm the color guy for our newsroom coverage (which basically means I'll be doing the light-hearted, "fun" pieces, as opposed to the hard-hitting "coverage" that sports is handling).

Basically, the tournament is a chance for celebrities to show just how much they suck at golf. I mean, I know Bill Murray sank a 90-foot eagle on a wedge today, and Carson Daly is a former amateur champ, but I'm pretty sure I can take Kenny G on the links - and I've never golfed a round in my life (Tiger Woods 2005 Challenge on PS2 doesn't count, right?).

But the tourney is a chance to do some celebrity gawking, and I'm not one to pass up a chance to mix it up with the likes of James Woods, Samuel L. Jackson, Mark Wahlberg, Justin Timberlake and George Lopez. Here's the lowlights from my first day on assignment:

- Got to huddle up with George Lopez, who explained why he doesn't do shows in Salinas anymore. "There's too many girls popping gum," he said. "I went there last time and there were one hundred girls popping gum at once."

- Justin Timberlake revealed the subtext for his role in the film "Alpha Dog," which debuted at Sundance a short while ago. "It's kind of complicated... I play a gang member."
Yeah, I know. I laughed too.
But he's gotten some good reviews, and lord knows there's nothing tougher than a skinny whiteboy from The Mickey Mouse Club (do mouse ears count as gang paraphenelia?).

- Two foxy blondes kept walking back and forth on the links, drawing stares from guys and girls in the gallery. I later learned that one of them was Dennis Quaid's fiancee. Who knew "The Rookie" was a veteran mack!

- Standing on the greens near the second hole, Bill Murray kept staring at me out of the corner of his eye, but didn't utter one word. My barrio-senses started tingling, and I swore he was mad dogging me. I didn't flinch, giving him the standard East Salas "Whatupvato" head nod, just like I was taught. He looked away right-quick.

- George Lopez got into a pretty rough exchange with the announcer guy. At one point, announcer guy said "I studied Mexican in College, and I still don't understand you." Lopez retorted with "It's always the old white guys who talk the most s***." Lopez won.

- I was kicked off the green before I got a chance to hit up Mark Wahlberg. I am so pissed I didn't get to tell him "It's because of YOU that fools will call me Marky Mark for the The Rest of My Life! Do you know how much that sucks... But I love Entourage. Turtle is the s***" (and Four Brothers wasn't bad either).

- Another missed opportunity: I wanted to ask Sam Jackson to point at all of the rich, snooty folks and yell "Yes they deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell!" I bet folks would have been scared out of their cardigan sweaters.

- Poor Kenny G. He went through the whole day almost unnoticed (even Huey Lewis was getting more love from the local press). And his Sideshow Bob hairstyle looked uncomfortably hot in the baking sun. He needs to get a fade.